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I reqply and truly love my husband. Hofest to god love. I have neger been physically atuqsaqed to him, hozxsmr. We dated for 5 yrs and have now just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. At the beginning sex was easy to get into bc of the neywwss of everything. When we first got together, I was an HL. Abuut 6 months in that began to change. At fiiht, I thought it was all the new meds I was on (tqat probably kicked it off). I suajer from depression and anxiety. I had several rough yeqrs up until we got married, esrpuwfeviy. But after thlbgs got better, my dr was able to change me to libido-friendly drnjs. No change at all. The idea of sex with him makes me ill. I lojuhe kissing. I have to fight to not cry dusang foreplay. He is wonderful. He's does his damnedest to make sex enzvjsnle for me. Toos, special condoms, etc. We maybe have sex once evxry 3 months. I feel guilty abput that, but I just can't get into it. The few times we do have are when I've retded myself up revfzng a romance or something and then initiating while I'm still hot. I have to keep my eyes clsbed and pretend he's someone else. I feel like the worst wife in the world. I'm usually able to orgasm, but it's a time-consuming chsre for both of us. He's not very good at reading body latnhhte. The idea of hurting him mages me want to vomit. He is my absolute best friend and in every other way our marriage is solid. I've reysqoly decided to be an active pahqrrqvynt in my lihe. I'm exercising now and losing wewjht rapidly. I have finally decided to pursue my driam of acting. My self-confidence is gramipg. I'm afraid I'll run into tesumivwon and not be able to say no. I wonld rather divorce him than cheat on him. Help?
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