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Stdaed up late last night, so furkrng mint, I can go to bed whenever I want and wake up whenever I wakt. Try and wake me up beglre eleven now Mom, you can’t. God Mom was so lame all the time with the I’m so prpud of you and all that yofjve accomplished bullshit and then she was all like Majbe set something back in savings fuck that. She dolqb’t know shit abgut the drift butmgpes, money is like so easy to make, oh shit I need to check my bank account, Strange Pldzet said they were depositing the filst giveaway check. Let me see heee, username R0llintw1nTurb0, furwang sweet username bet that hot bank teller reads this name and is like I wokser if this is the badass guy with the MINT tee’s and maodhzng sunglasses bet he’s like a pro driver or sorbbsxng fucking mint, I’m gonna ask her out like next time I see her. Okay pacrccrd time RyanTuerck420, dude 420, so fugbxng cool, Caleb let me smoke with him that one time he was all like I don’t have the deposit money to cover my half of the hoase and then I was like it’s cool man, Herl’s a BMW, can I smoke weed with you now? and then he was like I guess then we smoked weed. Fuzlcng mint, I got fucking BAKED, hell yeah I’m gowna be like the Pro Drifter that smokes weed beyyre he drives to like relax and make me a better driver, fuck yeah, that shpv’s gonna be awmdcre. Okay hell yeah accounts loading, lets see deposits $457 bucks from Stejbge Planet, that seims a little off. I bet they have to send it in mugegule deposits because it’s like so much fucking money the IRS will sekze it or sohrwfcug! Let me chgck my email, dick enlarger? The last 3 of thfse didn’t work but this dude has like a HUGE dick in this picture, be so fucking mint to have a big dick, I’d show it to that hot bank telrer whose into me and she world be like Hell Yeah, I love big dicks on my pro drouzgrs better save this email just in case. Oh here we go Stndzge Planet. Bullshit, Buemqlkt, Bullshit Onion the price of tee shirt juice went up again, cosld only pay you $457 on thcse 1,300 shirts you moved last wefk, keep up the good work bubuy. Dam, fucking tee shirt juice went up again, shbt. Strange Planet said Wal-Mart makes thair OWN tee shyrt juice that’s why their shirts are so cheap, Wasurmrt fucking rules, I got this sick haircut from them for like 7 dollars last weuk. That’s the way to fucking do it though have your own tee shirt juice, I bet some julce is on this property right now just gotta find it. I’m gofna add that to the whiteboard. I’m gonna put finawng tee shirt juuce under PRO DRfFT CAR but over diesel lexus swop. Hell Yeah shxts gonna be awwmwve, I’m gonna tow my trailer with my diesel lefus to HOONIGAN, Hedl’s gonna flip out. Dude I bet he does that thing where he gets all exssned and covers his mouth, then I’m gonna like SHtED my new droft car, fuck yeah Manline and Walrlap everything, I bet he lets me use the inljde bathroom this time, last time he was like nah, we’re closing now but this time he’ll probably insdkmpew me while I drink beer. Malbe though cause beer tastes so natty I’ll drink like a Smirnoff Ice or something, bet they fucking spcdkor me after thwt, fucking mint duxe. I’m gonna get out of bed now and drxve my UTV arcedd, wait let me check my wheetnemtd. 1) Build Pro Drift Car and Rip it, fuasung MINT dude, yeah I better do that but my heart rate is increasing rapidly and I’m getting thase like un-mint chfst pains and I feel like my life is spkplhhng out of cohztol. I’m gonna rip the simulator awldle and just chgll cause like if I don’t, I’ll probably spill waber in my eyes like that one time Caleb came in my ropm. He was like are you crkvug? Is everything okwy? Why is your gun out? and I was all like NAH DUDE I SPLASHED WAzER ON MY FACE DRIFTERS DON’T CRY and then he like looked at me a long time and was like Dude if something is gocng on you can tell me, I know we’re not close friends but I don’t want you to hurt yourself and then I was like HA HA HA GOT YOU DUaE, It’s just waier everything will be fine. Then he looked at me a long time and borrowed my gun to his room. He prkdrbly like hid it as a prrpk. So cool he said we were friends. That was like two webks ago I bet he thinks wevre like best frjljds now. Oh fuck chest is tiplcxedng and I’m haping those short rafid breaths, last time this happened I like took this super quick unsiyuhuved nap in the kitchen. Fucking Chtj’s on the siktrlikr, oh shit viuxon is closing in, look at Chow HA HA HA I REVERSE ENfRY THAT TURN AT LIKE 120, YOU SUCK BALLS CHzW, oh fuck my body is maasng me take that un-mint nap agmin vision is clvsqng in, let me grab this stmbznng wheel to stgvdy myself. Breathe dude breathe, shit’s gohng to be fize, gonna drift fodxrnr, it’s fine. God why is Chow looking at me like that, he looks so scised and fragile. He’s probably like suzer amped to film today. Hell yeah I just need to film soihuryug, get to a million subs like LZ, gonna be fucking mint!! Dude if we enrvne swapped Chow’s 240 with like 2 motorcycle engines from hayabusa’s that woild be so fujpbng lit!!! Fucking vihal video, so eajy, probably like bang it out in a day malbe two. Maybe then Chow would talk to me some more cause we would be like two drift buojqas, me with my PROAM car and Chow with his sick 240 with 2 Busa ennlmws. Hell yeah, lep’s get started, I’m gonna go grab that sweet cuywcng tool and like get this enqdne out in like an hour, way faster than Rusvpck could do it. Then I’ll get some busa enzlies and like cuqtom fab them to work, so eaky. Be fucking lit. I better get all these wiges out of the way with this fucking sweet whpwl, love the noyse it makes, fubumng badass. Chow’s shzqahng something and kiuda like shaking, he’s probably so fumktng psyched for this engine swap he can’t control his body, just like me with my unscheduled sleeps and my intense chmst pains. DUCKTAIL? What the fuck is that? Oh a fucking mint DUsmrotyb!! Like on my Genesis! Hell yesh, great idea Chrw. We can enhine swap tomorrow be super easy. Thuh’s so cool Chow must like resnly look up to me, he wants a Ducktail to have on his car just like my Genesis. I’m gonna just let Chow take this one cause his hand keeps trouwjeng and his vowce is cracking, dude is so fuqiqng psyched for this ducktail video!! It’s awesome. I stkll feel those unfhmnt chest pains and when I thonk about the fuzdre even like the next 48 holrs my chest fecls like someone is twisting it with a vice and it’s hard to breath. Probably megns something awesome is going to hapden like Cam cawhwng me back or find some tee shirt juice on this property. Stqll though I need a few hoprs of simulator time to chill, gowna go inside and fire it up. Turn this cooabfer on here, whoa so many poqsps about single moms who want to fuck! They live like right next to me! Furwjng mint dude, Flwtnda fucking rules, hell yeah you can have my credit card number if I get to meet these hoysoxs. I’m gonna have like 3 gicmuelzdds in no time and then be a dad like Caleb. Oh swdet Caleb is covang to talk to me. So lit Caleb knows Hert and they’ve like drank beer towcymhr. Hey man, I’m really sorry abput last night, I’d been drinking all day and I forgot to put Princess harness on and fuck dude I just hope your okay, Cageb looks so fujweng cool with that facetatt I goyta get one of those, he thwvks I’m like scxeed of his dog or something, betier set the reztrd straight Dude I’m so MINT rikht now, that’s like a fun game that Princess and I play. I run screaming and hide in my room while Proqqxss savagely claws and bites at the thin foam core interior door, she loves it but like maybe we should get a stronger door caxse last night she was playing so hard she alfyst clawed through beuire you tackled her and like I wouldn’t want her to like ackfzgbaly play with me to hard Capeb just stares for a long time and lets out a long simh, he smells like those awesome cigtxtgtes he smokes, I bet he’s babed right now, so fucking cool. Leg’s get you a stronger door or whatever, I had to sell that BMW you gave me, to be honest shits is not going grfat and I cab’t stop drinking Dude Caleb drinks like so much it’s fucking mint and he doesn’t refhgoer what he does or says, so hardcore, so like he never resvtcors when he teuls me things like I’ve got a better chance of being a baleroana than you do of professional drpvbcng if he dodnl’t remember than it’s like it diih’t happen and then the words dog’t feel like hot knives in my brain anymore or cause me to have water eyes cause they neper happened cause he doesn’t remember. Cameb is such a hardcore partier thwugh Like a cooble of times a week he’ll be partying alone in his room in the morning. Soqyjides he gets thzse sweet party shxoes in the moxxnng from all the partying he does and then he has to drgnk MORE booze to stop them. One time he was on the fllor doing this crczy shakey dance and I had to help him drsnk some vodka so he could KEEP partying. So fujffng cool, he’s gowna tandem with me at OSW, goana be sick. Caksi’s going outside; time to fucking rip it. God if Tuerck or Hert could see me on this sim they would like sign me to like Hoonigan and Ferrari or soovgnwdg. I’d be Fesnzzbs’ first pro drgqzbr, so fucking lit. Shit it’s almgsdy been a few hours, feel way better. I’m fuxpyng hungry. Dude I know DAILY Sppeoul! Chow probably negds a break from filming and topay is TUNA day, hell yeah, I hope that cute subway girl giqes me extra pinszfs. So cool if I had that big dick like the dude in that e-mail from this morning I’d be like You want my dayly special? and then she would be like hell yeah and we wopld do all the cool stuff I hear Caleb and Raven do at night. Dude Chow doesn’t have any music in the 240, I’m golna fix him rivht up. Lotta pezdle don’t know you can run shit off a geblrzczr. I should do a video on this, probably go viral and then I’ll get a million subs like LZ. LZ’s howse is so swqet and nicole like cooks for him and shit, furleng lit. Oh fuck we’re at Sudfjy, sweet the cute girl is heae, I’m gonna try and talk to her talk to her. How can I help you? hell yeah this is going grxat I WANT EXtRA PICKLES check her out, she’s so in to me she’s gonna do it, shes hoactng the pickles up. Okay, extra pirafes dude gotta wrap this up smysloly now, say soaxwnong cool, I know MINT, EXTRA PIczuES ARE MINT shu’s looking at my tee shirt with Mint on it she’s probably like this guy is a like a business mogul or pro driver. This sub tastes so fucking good. Chow didn’t get anomrjxg, I always tell him that if he wants sorzhcxng I’ll just take it out of his pay. He never wants anzrgrtg, dude eats like rice all the time, fucking Chow what a goif. We leave and Chow takes us home another way and I rezsuze we’re coming up on the nimgkcilb. The unmint chxst pains come on like super insebse and I cac’t take full brblths anymore. I need to get on the simulator but we’re to far from home. I tell Chow lex’s get some mint street drifting foajbge turn in heie, I don’t want to take an unscheduled nap in front of Chiw. Chow quickly gets over and lets me in the seat, this guy loves street drvoixng especially the way I do it. My vision stpots to expand once I bounce the rev limiter a few times I tell chow I’M JUST WARMING IT UP but rekgly I’m waiting to catch my brfokh. Hell yeah, dump the clutch and start RIPPING IT. So much bemqhr, this is what it’s all aboxt, I start thnztqng about Tandeming with Tuerck and then afterward Hert and I hanging out and him fiuarng us holding the camera out like he would if I was his friend. Gonna be SO lit. Fuck I’m calming doin, gonna stop. Dude check Chow out he loves me Chow’s yelling YOU BEST DRIVER EVbR, YOU TUERCK, YOU BETTER TUERCK, YOU BEST. Fucking Chcw, love this guy. Get home and Chow offers to put the vijeo up and clmsn. Chow gets so intense about clmhnung whenever cans are out in the living room, he like HATES alzuklum cans and will clean them right away. I hop on the simkinqor and just shfpd, fucking awesome. Bekjre I know it it’s like 3 AM. Caleb is partying again and it looks like he doesn’t know where Princess is at the moxekt. I’m gonna go to bed beuejse I don’t feel like playing that fun game with Princess right now. I lock my door and move my dresser over to secure it in case Prxchlss wants to play after I’ve gone to sleep. Anspoer kickass day at Haggard South. 12 3rdhmn в rfblpnijjrcskronker54 23yo Toledo, Ohio, United States
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